Insane Product Warning Labels

Oh Hai!

I have been so busy lately that I have not had time to think about posting.  It is supposed to be my summer vacation, but I am hosting my visiting parents, going to an education conference in Atlanta, babysitting a 12 year old and a 5 year old (my mom had three kids, I don’t know how she managed it), and getting prepared to sell my artism at the Puyallup, WA Farmer’s Market.  I have not even had time to think about planning my lessons for next year.  That is extremely important because I am teaching two subjects I have never taught before.  I will start that after I take my niece on her sixth grade graduation trip that I promised her.

But I suppose all that is beside the point.  I have had time to look up some simply crazy warning labels that are posted on honest to goodness real products.  I know the one on the Dremel Drill is real because I just bought one.  As clear as day in the warning section it says “this product is not to be used as a dental drill or for any other medical purposes.”  I wonder just what  lawsuit caused the company to put that warning label on their products.  It’s a crazy world out there.  Here are some more real life product warning labels.

Ignite lighter away from face.

Bic Lighter

This product must be cooked before eating.

Swanson TV Dinners

Warning: Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially while opening.

Canada Dry Club Soda

If pregnant or breast-feeding, ask a health professional before use.

Children’s Dimetapp

Directions: Use like regular soap.

Dial Soap

(On the side of the cup) “This ice may be cold”

Slush Puppy Cup

On bottom side: “Keep Upright”.

Tesco Fruit Juice Carton

This broom does not actually fly.

Harry Potter Toy Broom

To prevent possible injury, do not apply the hose or the lid sealer to any part of the body while vacuum pump is in operation.

Foodsealer (Vacuum seals foods)

CAUTION: Contains cleaning agents. Do not treat garment while wearing.

Shout Gel

Caution: Risk of fire

Pine Mountain Fire Logs

Warning: While cooking be sure to place crust side down

Red Barron Pizza

Luke Burbank of TBTL (Too Beautiful to Live 97.3 KIRO FM in Seattle, WA) fame has a great story about his mother actually doing this to him one Sunday morning before church.  She burnt his ear but no one sued.  Talk about missing an opportunity.

Do not spray in eyes.

Windex

Not Dishwasher Safe

RCA Television Remote Control

Thank You For Your Consideration,

The Graham Ten

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