Home > Uncategorized > More Lawsuit Craziness – Much, Much More

More Lawsuit Craziness – Much, Much More

Oh Hai!

I thought I had found all of the best crazy lawsuits.  Boy was I wrong.  Here is some more craziness for your consideration.

1.  And Which Kind of Bread Would You Like That On?

Would You Like Knife With That?

Would You Like Knife With That?

John Agnesini, 27, of Astoria, New Yorker sued Subway because he took a bite of a sandwich and found a 7 inch serrated knife baked into the bread of his 12 inch cold cut sandwich.   He was not cut by the knife, but he became violently ill and experienced severe stomach pains for about three hours.  A doctor told him he was experiencing the symptoms of food poisoning, possibly from the filthy knife baked into his bread.  He is suing for $1,000,000.  Gross and unsanitary?  Definitely.  $1,000,000 gross?  I am not so sure.  Read more at The New York Post.

2. Excuse Me, Those Are My Magic Powers You are Using


A man named Christopher Roller, a resident of Minnesota, recently sued David Blaine, David Copperfield, and James Randi claiming that acts he had seen them perform could not possibly be done by trickery and thus must be actual divine magic.  He claimed the magicians were covering up their magical abilities and demanded that they reveal their secret magic tricks to him.   Roller sued not just because he claimed the performers were using divine powers – he sued because he thinks he is God and therefore it is his powers they were stealing.  He demanded 10% of their earnings for life.  After his suit was dismissed, Roller filed an affidavit claiming that the lawyer for the performers tried to kill him.  Can you kill God?  You can read more about Mr. Roller at The Skeptics Guide to the Universe.  A fun podcast by the way.

3. I Swear I Thought It Was My Gun


The City of Madera, California and Officer Marcy Noriega filed suit against a taser company after Officer Noriega mistakenly shot and killed a suspect with what she thought was her taser but was really her gun.  Officer Noriega decided to tase the suspect in the back of her car when he became uncontrollable and started kicking at the windows. Noriega drew her taser from her belt and fired it at the man. Unfortunately for the crook, the officer had accidentally drawn her gun, and she shot him in the chest.   The suspect died from his wound.   The city sued the taser company, arguing that any reasonable officer could mistakenly draw and shoot their gun instead of their taser. The city also claimed that their officers were given inadequate training in the use of the device.  They sued for the full costs of the wrongful death lawsuit which the man’s family has filed against the city.  Read more about it at The Madera Tribune.

4. The Thong Lawsuit


A 52 year old traffic officer from Los Angeles sued Victoria’s Secret for damage to her eye.   She claimed that while she was trying on a new thong a design defect caused a decorative metallic piece to fly off and hit her in the eye.  The woman sought unspecified damages for an eye injury that had her out of work for a few.   Read more about it at The Smoking Gun.

5. Oh The Irony


Two members of PETA were driving home from a protest in New Jersey when they hit a deer which had run on to the highway. The members informed the New Jersey Division of Fish and and Wildlife that they intended to sue for damages and injuries. In their letter they stated that the Division was responsible for the damages “as a result of their deer management program, which includes, in certain circumstances, an affirmative effort to increase deer population.”  Silly me.  Isn’t increasing the animal population part of what PETA is all about?  Read more about it here.

6. The Weather Report is Never Wrong


An Israeli woman sued a TV station for an inaccurate weather forecast.   The forecast predicted good weather but it rained instead. The woman claimed that the forecast caused her to dress lightly – resulting in her catching the flu, missing a week of work, and spending money on medication. She further claimed that the whole incident caused her stress. She sued for $1,000 – and won.

7.  A Frightening Haunted House?


A woman who attended ‘Halloween Horror Nights’ at Universal Studios sued the theme park for $15,000 in damages.  She claimed to have suffered extreme fear, mental anguish, and emotional distress due to visiting the haunted house, which she said was too scary.  That raises the question (inside to the power of inside TBTL reference).  Can a haunted house be too scary?

8. A Different Kind of Subway Lawsuit


A New York City woman sued after she was hit by a subway train.  In most cases this would be a tragic accident.  In this case the woman was patiently laying on the tracks in an apparent attempt to commit suicide.  She was awarded $14.1 million by a state supreme court jury.   The reward was later cut by 30 percent, to a mere $9.9 million, because of her “comparative negligence.”

9. A Vampire In Prison


Robert Paul Rice, in prison for 1-15 years on various felony charges,  sued the Utah State Prison system, claiming that they violated his right to practice his religion.  The problem is he professes to be a Druidic Vampire.  Mr. Rice claimed in his suit that the prison system violated his right to religious freedom by failing to provide him with a “vampire” diet of blood and denying him a conjugal visit with his “vampress.”  Mr. Rice’s suit was thrown out of court.  Dare I say it?  That sucks.

10.  Why Shouldn’t I Get the Retirement Benefits?


Fayette Nale, 56, is serving a 3-15 year sentence at the Women’s Huron Valley Correctional Facility in Ypsilanti after she was convicted in Macomb County on charges of voluntary manslaughter.  Mrs. Nale was convicted of stabbing her husband of 34 years Michael, 56, to death after a struggle in their home.   As if the tragic loss of her husband was not bad enough, his employer refused to pay her survivor pension benefits.  Mrs. Nale then proceeded to sue the Ford Motor Company Retirement plane for the benefits.  I am sorry Mrs. Nale.  This just not compute.  Read more about it at the One Minute Lawyer.

As if this crazy list of ten absurd lawsuits is not enough for you.  I can promise many more in the future.
Thank You For Your Consideration,
The Graham Ten

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