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Lawsuits that Make Me Want to Laugh or Cry

Oh Hai!

I have some more crazy lawsuits for you to enjoy.

Lawsuit Over Leg Room

Jerome and Judith O’Callaghan filed a $100,000 suit against American Airlines in 2004 because they didn’t have enough legroom on a flight to Paris. The couple claimed the airlines had advertised generous legroom, but said it wasn’t the case. Their nine-hour flight left them with back and leg pain. Allegedly the limited space made Jerome’s legs so unsteady that he tripped and broke his nose and teeth later at the entrance to the Basilica of St. Paul’s in Rome.

Ageism?

Aging German playboy Rolf Eden filed charges against a 19-year-old for refusing to sleep with him. The complaint? Ageism. He says, despite a night on the town with Eden, which ended back at his place, she refused to have sex with him, saying the he was too old for her. So he filed charges with the prosecutors’ office: “After all, there are laws against discrimination.”

Who Gets Custody of the Kidney?

After Long Island doctor Richard Batista was slapped with divorce papers from his cheating wife, he decided he’d had enough and sued her for the return of a gift he’d give her eight years prior: a kidney. After the successful transplant, Dawnell –Batista’s wife– survived, but not their marriage, which lasted only another four years.

The heartbroken doctor requested the one-time love of his life to pay $1.5 million for the organ he donated. He insisted his cash-for-kidney claim was a direct result of his wife’s behavior.

Sleeping in Class

A 16-year-old Connecticut high school student who fell asleep in class alleged he suffered substantial hearing loss when his math teacher smacked her palm down on his desk to wake him up while she was teaching, so his parents decided to sue Danbury High School, the Connecticut Board of Education and the city of Danbury on his behalf.

Attorney Alan Barry says 15-year-old Vinicios Robacher suffered pain and “very severe injuries to his left eardrum” when teacher Melissa Nadeau abruptly slammed the palm of her hand on his desk. Vinicios has been teased by students at school ever since.

I Deserve Better Customer Service

Dalton Chiscolm is unhappy about Bank of America’s customer service — really, really unhappy.

Chiscolm in August sued the largest U.S. bank and its board, demanding that “1,784 billion, trillion dollars” be deposited into his account the next day. He also demanded an additional $200,164,000, court papers show.

“He seems to be complaining that he placed a series of calls to the bank in New York and received inconsistent information from a ‘Spanish womn,'” the judge wrote. “He apparently alleges that checks have been rejected because of incomplete routing numbers.”

But Who is Going to Pay for the Damages?

January 2008: Spanish businessman Tomas Delgado sued the family of the 17-year-old boy he’d hit and killed for the damage that the boy’s body did to his Audi. Delgado was speeding at the time, but since the boy was cycling alone at night without reflectors or a helmet, the driver wasn’t charged with anything other than being a complete jerk. Under public pressure, he later dropped his lawsuit.

Maam, You Should Have Cleared the Driveway

February 2007: A “meals on wheels” program was delivering food to 81-year-old Anne Keipper in Brookfield, Wisconsin when the delivery woman — who wasn’t wearing boots — slipped on a patch of ice in the driveway and fell. Three years later, Keipper was notified that she was being sued by Sentry Insurance for the medical expenses it paid related to the delivery woman’s fall. The moral: senior citizens too frail to leave their house to get food should diligently shovel ice off their driveway.

Would You Rather be the Douchebag?

Last October, Yvette Gorzelany, Joanna Obiedzinski, and Paulina Pakos attempted to sue over their appearance in the book “Hot Chicks with Douchebags.” The ladies filed a defamation suit only to have it thrown out by a New Jersey judge in February who ruled it as a work of satire (duh). The judge proved the point further by asking whether a reasonable person could “believe that Jean-Paul Sartre stated ‘man is condemned to be douchey because once thrown into the world he is responsible for every douchey thing that he does.'” Yeah, we’re with the judge on that one.

Thank You For Your Consideration,

The Graham Ten

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