I have some more crazy lawsuits for you to enjoy.
Lawsuit Over Leg Room
Jerome and Judith O’Callaghan filed a $100,000 suit against American Airlines in 2004 because they didn’t have enough legroom on a flight to Paris. The couple claimed the airlines had advertised generous legroom, but said it wasn’t the case. Their nine-hour flight left them with back and leg pain. Allegedly the limited space made Jerome’s legs so unsteady that he tripped and broke his nose and teeth later at the entrance to the Basilica of St. Paul’s in Rome.
Aging German playboy Rolf Eden filed charges against a 19-year-old for refusing to sleep with him. The complaint? Ageism. He says, despite a night on the town with Eden, which ended back at his place, she refused to have sex with him, saying the he was too old for her. So he filed charges with the prosecutors’ office: “After all, there are laws against discrimination.”
Who Gets Custody of the Kidney?
After Long Island doctor Richard Batista was slapped with divorce papers from his cheating wife, he decided he’d had enough and sued her for the return of a gift he’d give her eight years prior: a kidney. After the successful transplant, Dawnell –Batista’s wife– survived, but not their marriage, which lasted only another four years.
The heartbroken doctor requested the one-time love of his life to pay $1.5 million for the organ he donated. He insisted his cash-for-kidney claim was a direct result of his wife’s behavior.
Sleeping in Class
A 16-year-old Connecticut high school student who fell asleep in class alleged he suffered substantial hearing loss when his math teacher smacked her palm down on his desk to wake him up while she was teaching, so his parents decided to sue Danbury High School, the Connecticut Board of Education and the city of Danbury on his behalf.
Attorney Alan Barry says 15-year-old Vinicios Robacher suffered pain and “very severe injuries to his left eardrum” when teacher Melissa Nadeau abruptly slammed the palm of her hand on his desk. Vinicios has been teased by students at school ever since.
I Deserve Better Customer Service
Dalton Chiscolm is unhappy about Bank of America’s customer service — really, really unhappy.
Chiscolm in August sued the largest U.S. bank and its board, demanding that “1,784 billion, trillion dollars” be deposited into his account the next day. He also demanded an additional $200,164,000, court papers show.
“He seems to be complaining that he placed a series of calls to the bank in New York and received inconsistent information from a ‘Spanish womn,'” the judge wrote. “He apparently alleges that checks have been rejected because of incomplete routing numbers.”
But Who is Going to Pay for the Damages?
January 2008: Spanish businessman Tomas Delgado sued the family of the 17-year-old boy he’d hit and killed for the damage that the boy’s body did to his Audi. Delgado was speeding at the time, but since the boy was cycling alone at night without reflectors or a helmet, the driver wasn’t charged with anything other than being a complete jerk. Under public pressure, he later dropped his lawsuit.
Maam, You Should Have Cleared the Driveway
February 2007: A “meals on wheels” program was delivering food to 81-year-old Anne Keipper in Brookfield, Wisconsin when the delivery woman — who wasn’t wearing boots — slipped on a patch of ice in the driveway and fell. Three years later, Keipper was notified that she was being sued by Sentry Insurance for the medical expenses it paid related to the delivery woman’s fall. The moral: senior citizens too frail to leave their house to get food should diligently shovel ice off their driveway.
Would You Rather be the Douchebag?
Last October, Yvette Gorzelany, Joanna Obiedzinski, and Paulina Pakos attempted to sue over their appearance in the book “Hot Chicks with Douchebags.” The ladies filed a defamation suit only to have it thrown out by a New Jersey judge in February who ruled it as a work of satire (duh). The judge proved the point further by asking whether a reasonable person could “believe that Jean-Paul Sartre stated ‘man is condemned to be douchey because once thrown into the world he is responsible for every douchey thing that he does.'” Yeah, we’re with the judge on that one.
Thank You For Your Consideration,
The Graham Ten
For further consideration, more lawsuit silliness. Only a free an open legal system could produce these gems.
* A Michigan woman filed a $500,000 lawsuit after a beautician nicked her finger during a $5 fingernail repair.
* A Panama City Beach, Florida couple sued McDonald’s claiming an improperly prepared bagel damaged the husband’s teeth and ruined their marriage.
* A Cincinnati man sued the Bengals football team and the National Football League claiming the team violated its stadium lease by failing to field a “competitive” team.
* A high school baseball pitcher in Pittsfield, Illinois who was hit by a line drive is suing the maker of the baseball bat.
* A cleaner from Grand Haven, Michigan stole what she thought was a large candle from the condominium she cleaned. Later, while at a restaurant with friends, she lit the ‘candle’. The candle was in fact a huge firecracker and the woman was severely injured. She sued the condominium owners for not putting a warning on it. The condo owners say they had put the huge firecracker in a cupboard out of the reach of children after it had been left at their house after a party.
* In Michigan a prisoner sued the prison service for his flatulence. The inmate said that his wind was caused by the food he was being served.
* An employee of a hospital was smacked in the head while she was being pushed in a wheel chair through an entrance ramp that was not intended for wheelchair access. She sued the makers of the gate for her injuries. The jury found that the makers of the gate were not at fault, other employees of the hospital said that the ramp was not intended for wheelchair access.
* A Louisiana woman made national and international headlines when she filed suit against Wal-Mart over what she claims was a much-too-close encounter of the furry kind. According to the lawsuit, the woman ran over her own foot with a shopping carter after being startled by a large rat-tailed rodent described as “Norman the Nutria.” As a result of the injuries she allegedly sustained during the incident, she’s suing for pain, suffering, mental anguish, fear, disabling injuries, and past, present and future medical expenses.
I hope the silliness made you giggle. If we don’t laugh, we will certainly cry.
Thank You For Your Consideration,
The Graham Ten
If you like to read about the nuttiness that can occur in the American legal system, here are some insanely crazy absurd stories for you. Don’t get me wrong our system is definitely the best legal system going, but when you give people free and open access (as you should) some nuttiness will definitely ensue. Case in point.
He Must Have Been Quite a Guy and She was a Lawyer
A jury awarded $178,000 in damages to a woman who sued her former fiance for breaking their seven-week engagement. The breakdown: $93,000 for pain & suffering; $60,000 for loss of income from her legal practice, and $25,000 for psychiatric counseling expenses.
(RCI) Repetitive Clapper Injury
A New York appeals court rejected a woman’s lawsuit against the company that makes the device called “The Clapper”, which activates selected appliances on the sound of a clap. She claimed she hurt her hands because she had to clap too hard in order to turn her appliances on: “I couldn’t peel potatoes (when my hands hurt). I never ate so many baked potatoes in my life. I was in pain.” However, the judge said she had merely failed to adjust the sensitivity controls.
A Very Expensive Razzing
Mike Marlowe fully admits that he sometimes gave George Gillespie a hard time in that AOL chatroom.
But never in his wildest imagination did he expect to be sued in court for what he characterized as “razzing.”
“We gave him crap,” said Marlowe, a 33-year-old welder in Fayette, Ala. “I’m not going to deny it. I teased him and he teased me back. He gave it back better than he ever got it.”
A generation ago, such petty personal beefs might have been settled with fists outside the corner bar, but now it’s the Internet age — and Ohio resident George Gillespie instead filed a $25,000 lawsuit against two erstwhile cyber chums he met in the sprawling 900-room, mostly anonymous society that makes up AOL’s chat universe.
Don’t Sit Too Close to the Stripper
Bennie Casson filed a lawsuit in Belleville, Ill., against PT’s Show Club for its negligence in allowing a stripper to “slam” her breasts into his “neck and head region” as he watched her, a little too close to the stage.
Casson claims in his lawsuit that dancer Susan Sykes (aka “Busty Heart”), who claims to have show business’s biggest chest at 88 inches, gave him a “bruised, contused, lacerated” neck.
Carson has filed suit claiming that the “gifted” performer slammed her breasts into his head and neck, causing “emotional distress, mental anguish and indignity.”
The $200,000 lawsuit states that Carson was “bruised, contused, lacerated and made sore” by Heart’s breasts, which reportedly weigh in at 40 pounds apiece.
Source: St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Oops! Maybe it was a Different Gertrude Walton
CHARLESTON, W.Va. — Gertrude Walton was recently targeted by the recording industry in a lawsuit that accused her of illegally trading music over the Internet. But Walton died in December after a long illness, and according to her daughter, the 83-year-old hated computers.
More than a month after Walton was buried in Beckley, a group of record companies named her as the sole defendant in a federal lawsuit, claiming she made more than 700 pop, rock and rap songs available for free on the Internet under the screen name “smittenedkitten.”
Trains Run on Tracks?
A Jeannette woman who was slightly injured after being struck by a train while walking along railroad tracks sued Norfolk Southern Corp. Thursday for failing to warn pedestrians that trains travel on tracks.
Patricia M. Frankhouser, of 910 Scott Ave., is seeking an unspecified amount in excess of $30,000 from the Norfolk, Va., rail transport company for the Jan. 6 incident that left her with a broken finger, cuts on her hand and pain, according to the suit.
Greensburg attorney Harry F. Smail Jr., who represents Frankhouser, didn’t return a call seeking comment.
Within the filing, he argues that the railroad was negligent for failing to post signs warning “of the dangers of walking near train tracks and that the tracks were actively in use.”
According to the suit, Frankhouser was walking along the tracks near Seventh and Eighth streets in Jeannette.
“Defendant’s failure to warn plaintiff of the potential dangers negligently provided plaintiff with the belief she was safe in walking near the train tracks,” the suit states.
A Fat Pirate’s Booty
Meredith Berkman, seeking $50 million, filed one of the first anti-fat lawsuits against the manufacturer of a snack food named Pirate’s Booty. It looks like eating too much Pirate’s Booty had added too much booty to Ms. Berkman’s booty.
In December, 2001, the Good Housekeeping Institute tested Pirate’s Booty, which is basically flavored puffed rice, and found that it contained 147 calories and 8.5 grams of fat, while its label said it contained only 120 calories and 2.5 grams of fat.
The manufacturer, Robert’s American Gourmet Foods (a subsidiary of Keystone Foods), blamed the problem on a change in its manufacturing process and immediately recalled the product from store shelves.
Nearly four months after the recall, Berkman filed a $50 million class-action lawsuit against Robert’s Foods, claiming “emotional distress” and “weight gain…mental anguish, outrage and indignation.” The complaint claims to represent all consumers who ruined their diets and had to spend more time at the gym because they ate mislabeled Pirate’s Booty.
Hell Has a Special Place For Lawsuits Like This
Lawyers for the Martinez family said they had filed a lawsuit against the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Santa Fe and one of its priests. They family alleges that Reverend Scott Mansfield said at the funeral of Ben Martinez, 80, that he was “living in sin,” “lukewarm in his faith” and that “the Lord vomited people like Ben out of his mouth to hell”. Nine members of the Martinez family are seeking punitive and compensatory damages for severe emotional and physical suffering. The complaint also said that as Father Mansfield walked to the grave, he laced his comments about Mr Martinez with profanities. Lawyers did not say how much the family was seeking in damages. Church officials have denied the family’s claims.
I Want That One!
A woman went into a Northridge discount department store to buy a blender. She decided to take the bottom box from a stack of four blenders from an upper shelf used to store extra stock. When she pulled out the bottom box, the rest of the boxes fell. She sued the store for not warning customers from taking stock from the upper shelf and for stacking the boxes so high. She claimed to sustain carpal tunnel syndrome and neck, shoulder and back pain.
It Was a Really Big Piece of Gum
An El Paso woman filed suit against a supermarket after tripping over a piece of dried gum on the sidewalk outside the store. Before dismissing the case the trial judge asked “How does one trip over gum? How many times has everyone in this room stepped on gum without tripping?”
The Sacramento Bee reports that Lee Williams, 23, is seeking $25,000 in damages from a tattoo parlor for misspelling the word “villain” on his right forearm. The problem is, the incorrect spelling “villian” came from Williams himself, who was unsure as to the spelling of the word upon entering the parlor. After much debate he settled on the incorrect spelling. In fact, Williams did not even notice the error until years later, when a friend made fun of him. Claiming the tattoo cost $1,900 to remove and left a scar on his forearm, Williams is now asking for $25,000 for his own mistake.
Thank You For Your Consideration,
The Graham Ten
In a former life I was a lawyer (it was a very short life). I am still fascinated by the law, especially the outrageous lawsuits that plague our courts. Our legal system is a great thing, but only in America can such ridiculous and absurd lawsuits be filed and won. If you have ever spent time perusing the warning labels on even the safest of products, they are the result of some of the lawsuits mentioned below. Enjoy.
1. Now We Know Why This Guy Flunked Out of Law School
Thomas Bentley of New Jersey is suing his former law school, St. Thomas University Law School of Miami, for having admitted him to law school (he was later one of 40 students expelled for insufficient grades). The Florida law school’s attrition rate is in keeping with the national average.
Presumably, Bentley initially asked the university to admit him but that didn’t stop his lawyer Michael Lombardi from saying, with a straight face:”They’re not supposed to accept students who don’t have a reasonable prospect of completing law school.”
2. And We Know Why This Guy is in Jail
An inmate filed a $5 million lawsuit against himself (he claimed that he violated his own civil rights by getting arrested) — then asked the state to pay because he has no income in jail.
He said, “I want to pay myself $5 million dollars, but ask the state to pay it on my behalf since I can’t work and am a ward of the state.” The judge was not impressed by his ingenuity, and dismissed the suit as frivolous.
3. Clear Proof That Dogs Are Smarter Than People
A minister and his wife sued a guide-dog school for $160,000 after a blind man learning to use a seeing-eye dog trod on the woman’s toes in a shopping mall. Southeastern Guide Dogs Inc., a 13-year old guide-dog school and the only one of its kind in the Southeast, raises and trains seeing-eye dogs at no cost to the visually impaired. The school is located about 35 miles south of Tampa.
The lawsuit was brought by Carolyn Christian and her husband, the Rev. William Christian. Each sought $80,000. The couple filed suit 13 months after Ms Christian’s toe was stepped on and reportedly broken by a blind man who was learning to use his new guide dog, Freddy, under the supervision of an instructor. They were practicing at a shopping mall. According to witnesses, Ms Christian made no effort to get out of the blind man’s way because she “wanted to see if the dog would walk around me”.
4. Can You Put A Warning Label on Dumb?
A college student in Idaho decided to “moon” someone from his 4th story dorm room window. He lost his balance, fell out of his window, and injured himself in the fall. Now the student expects the University to take the fall; he is suing them for “not warning him of the dangers of living on the 4th floor”.
5. But, They Promised Beautiful Women
A man sued Anheuser-Busch for $10,000 for false advertising. He claimed that he suffered physical and mental injury and emotional distress from the implicit promises in the advertisements. When he drank the beverage, success with women did not come true for him plus, he got sick. The Michigan Court of Appeals affirmed a lower-court decision dismissing the case.
6. Does Missing the NFL Playoffs Violate the 8th Amendment?
An inmate, calling himself a sports fanatic, complained that, as a result of cruel and unusual punishment, he was forced to miss the NFL playoffs, especially between Miami and San Diego, San Diego and Pittsburgh, and
Dallas and San Francisco.
7. I Swear, I Have Never Seen That Kid Before
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
8. But I Had A Really Good Reason For Throwing It
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
9. But You Should Have Let Me Rob You
A convicted bank robber on parole entered a bank, went up to the teller, and said, “Give me the money. I’ve got a bomb.” The bank teller did as instructed, except that hidden in the rolls of money turned over to the robber was an anti-robbery device that released tear gas. The device functioned as intended .. and the robber sued the bank.
10. It’s a Medical Issue
A Florida woman is suing Walt Disney World for banning her from its Tower of Terror ride, saying riding it is a medical necesity. Denise Mooty says the “G-forces of going up and down” the 199-foot thrill ride help break up fibrous adhesions in her abdomen. Disney, she says, had decided to limit her to four rides a week, far fewer than the dozens her doctor has ordered. Mooty was then banned, Disney says, “for causing a disturbance within the presence of other guests and using foul language toward a Cast Member.”
I will bring you more absurd lawsuits at a later date.
Thank You For Your Consideration,
The Graham Ten